Touched by Pokémon

No, that’s not the title of an adult film. That’s just how I felt after reading what Gabe wrote in Penny Arcade today (second from the top).

Upending

I read somewhere at a roundtable discussion during this year’s E3 that Miyamoto mentioned that the roundtable discussion had no actual table that he could upend. I remember thinking, “Why would Miyamoto upend a table?”

Someone who watches Miyamoto in the press more closely than I do could probably tell you the exact story where Miyamoto reputedly upended a table and told a team working at Nintendo to go back to the drawing board. That’s a pretty strong action for somenoe who appears to be a mild-mannered guy.

Anyway, only because I first heard of this situation recently does this snippet of an interview with Legend of Zelda producer Eiji Aonuma conducted by Wired Magazine seem so funny:

WN: Were there any “upending the tea table” moments with Miyamoto, this time [referring to Miyamoto's notoriety for telling a team they have to go back to the drawing board on a nearly-finished project]?

EA: This is a first for the Zelda franchise, but Miyamoto actually didn’t “upend the tea table” even once. I was really surprised. After we were almost done with the game, Miyamoto played it. I was bracing myself for the worst, but instead he said, “This is good!” And I was like: “…wha?” And it was probably because, for the four months prior, I myself had been upending various smaller tea tables.

While I won’t deify Aonuma, I’m grateful that he and his team decided to breathe some new life into the Zelda franchise. Twilight Princess left me wanting, and it very likely left me wanting this.

E3: Metroid Prime 3

Nintendo’s press conference may not have packed any surprises for the hardcore audience, but neither did anyone else’s. For the most part, we saw what we hoped we would see. It just seems that Steve Jobs might have us a bit spoiled with that “one last thing” that people hope to see.

The next hardcore first party release out of the gate will be Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, which ships to retailers on August 27th. I found it interesting with Halo 3 just around the corner that Nintendo would bill it as the the console FPS to play this year. Bold words! Though not so bold for me, I guess, as I couldn’t give less of a damn about controlling my aim with the right analog stick.

Console FPS done right?

Since I’m not there to play it, I pay close attention to people whose journalism I trust. That’s why my eyebrow raised when I encountered a glowing hands-on impression of the game from Game|Life’s Chris Kohler. In a word, “mindblowing.”

Jeremy Parish also had generally positive things to say about Metroid from his time with the game. His major complaint appears to be that the game feels more FPS than Metroid at this point, which goes in contrast to the spirit of the franchise.

August isn’t so far away, and given how long this game was delayed from launch, it probably stands a better chance than most of living up to expectations. Either way, we’ll find out soon enough.

E3: Wii Fit

First let me make it clear that I am not at E3 this year though last year’s Wii-tastic E3 is what made me want to start this blog in the first place. This year’s I-can’t-believe-it-ain’t-E3 is a media and press only event, and though I may technically qualify with my freelancer status, the last thing I want to do is take a vacation from my main job just so I can work a secondary one.

So let’s take a moment to examine E3’s whipping boy this year: Wii Fit. Effectively unveiled to the painful groans of the gaming press, some journalists have already taken it upon themselves to severely criticize Nintendo for the release of this software, many without actually playing it. Way to check your expectations at the door, guys and gals!I should also make it a point before discussing Wii Fit that it isn’t my purpose to defend a title I haven’t played, though it may seem that way at times. Milky says I need to get off Nintendo’s jock and buy a 360. I told him Microsoft needs to get off its ass and bring $400 worth of games to market that I want to play on their console to justify the investment.

For those who don’t greedily lap up every bit of video gaming news that drips from the plate of E3, Nintendo announced Shigeru Miyamoto’s newest title in the works: Wii Fit. The game includes a wireless, battery-powered balance board and (at first glance) consists of a number of exercises, stretching routines, and simple games to engage the whole family. The game also keeps track of your BMI (body mass index) to see how healthily your weight corresponds to your height. It’s another Nintendo non-game aimed squarely at the entire market.

Yes, this is what you wanted to play.

In watching the onstage demos (that went none too well for various reasons), I asked myself, “Why is this title important to me?” For me it was an easy question to answer. I play Dance Dance Revolution Max 2 in workout mode three to four times a week for cardio before launching into my weight training routine. The music selection is odious, but it keeps my mind occupied so that I don’t focus on wishing I were dead as I sweat and huff. I would love for Wii Fit to replace DDR in my workout routine, but truth be told, I’ll probably be jogging again by the time it’s released. It’s worth noting that when I finish 20 specifically chosen songs on Standard workout mode in DDR that I am bathed in sweat and short of breath; I have my reservations about whether Wii Fit can cause the same.

The second question I asked myself is, “How widespread is the appeal?” Nintendo is aiming this title at the entire family. My household consists of one (one and a half if you count the dog) to three people at any given time — all of which play Wii (except the dog) — and I think I would be the only person to use it regularly. However thinking to the Thanksgiving scenario, it could be a hit with my family. And by Thanksgiving scenario, I mean the very common occurrence of people taking their Wiis home for the holidays and having fun with the whole family. I do believe that everyone in my family would try it, and my brother and mother might even get semi-competitive about it.

The final question is, “How many Wiis will this move?” As fantastic as DDR is as an exercise medium, the learning curve is brutally steep. Some people’s bodies just aren’t coordinated enough to play it well enough to use a difficulty that would provide a decent workout. However, the Wii is rapidly entering the public eye as an electronic entertainment (notice I didn’t say game!) for everyone, and non-gamers who are inclined to buy something that resembles a game that might help them get in shape will have this the day it hits shelves.

Okay, I lied. I have one more question. “What would make this great?” I’ve already been surprised once this year by Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree; I thought there is no way in hell that game could possibly be worth $50, but when you factor in the community aspect and the readily approachable party-type modes, it really is a crowd pleaser. So what would I like to see for Wii Fit?

• A diet and calorie-burn tracker a la Traineo
• A community aspect that allows you to share BMI/calories burned/etc. with Wii friends
• Some form of online record keeping system that encourages competitive play
• Custom soundtracks for step exercises that are automatically tempo matched or step- (not time-) advanced

As far as I know, Miyamoto doesn’t read my blog, so I hope he has ideas this good or better. I know he can create great action and adventure titles, but I don’t trust just anyone when it comes to my fitness. We’ll all just have to wait and see.

Mario Party 8 Socks

A couple of friends came over on Sunday, and we all tried Mario Party 8 together for the first time. Many view the Wii as the party system already, and with Mario (who doesn’t love Mario?) and 8 (implying they’ve done this enough times to get it right) in the title, how could Nintendo go wrong?  

See what roses really smell like… 

The answer is, apparently, just like they did with Mario Party 8. The game is an absolute nightmare. It straddles the threshold of unplayable; if only one iota worse, you’d turn it off and go back to catching Pokémon. As it is, you’ll feel compelled to play to the end of the game / turn limit, at which point the very apt Penny Arcade review becomes entirely understandable. 

This game *SOCKS*. Save your money; Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree is much more fun as a party game.